If Nude Midget Wrestling is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right

Near my place there's a Platinum Plus. (No, it's not a place for BBWs. Well, sometimes it is.) It's that exotic dancing chain that stretches pretty much across the nation. You know.

They have flyers around town now--I kid you not--advertising Nude Midget Wrestling on Tuesday nights. Hey, . . . wait, what day is this?

"I am practically out of the large, lined Post-Its in that acid green color."

My new response when people ask why I've decided to look for in-house work.

"I steal small electronics from Target and resell them on eBay."

My new response when people ask,"So what have you been doing since your last job?"

"Eh, something to fall back on."

My new response when people say they're "curious as to why Linguistics."