02 December 2011

Ford Motor Company is not the only one.

Mmmm, FLEX those muscles... mmmm....

Yes, I gave Ford a hard time when I picked on its prurient model naming theme. (9/1/11 post, below.) And though they recently introduced the Ford Flex, I won't say another word. There are other makes/models I can criticize.

Dodge has had a solid theme going for decades. As I did with Ford, I'll let you decide what that theme is:
Dodge Charger, Dodge Challenger, Dodge Raider, Dodge Dart, Dodge Scrambler, Dodge Avenger, Dodge Defender, Dodge Conquest, Dodge Ram, Dodge Rampage, and the overly enthusiastic Dodge Ramcharger.

Yes, Dodge wants to beat up all the other cars. Do you feel the "aggressive verb" thing they got going there? Make you want to be a superhero? Well, then there's the Dodge Stealth, Viper, and Venom. Rowwrrr!

I'd drive this Swinger any day.
A few outliers:  Dodge Scamp, Dodge Duster, Dodge Swinger.  Maybe those were for the really young market. Or, the really gay market.

There are some models on the road that, to me, sound like they're practicing to be cars:
Mazda ProtegĂ©—We have high hopes for this one!
Mitsubishi Endeavor—Always trying, trying.
Ford Aspire may fit into this category, but with Ford I'd want to check first as to what its car aspires to.

Toyota has occasionally been inspired by articles of clothing, with names slightly mangled:
Toyota Belta
Toyota Brevis
I, for one, eagerly await the Toyota Sweater Vesta.

And after half a century, still named for a cigar:
Toyota Corolla. There's also the Toyota Corona. As in, Did jou want a lime with that?
I might suggest Toyota Tiparillo for their sport trimline.

Some names make you think, Did they not know what it meant? A few examples:
Chevy Citation—I avoid getting one of those. Doesn't everyone?
AMC Gremlin—Like what mechanics call an engine problem they can't track down?
Isuzu Impulse—That'd at least make me hesitate before buying, and I thank them for that. Always a good idea—for the consumer.
Chevy Caprice—As in "a sudden change without motive." Uh-oh, what the heck's the matter with this thing?? Hold on!

Finally, I might suggest that car companies administer spelling
tests to aspiring brand engineers; witness:
Toyota Progres
Toyota Precis
Saturn Vue
Mitsubishi Carisma
Pontiac Aztek
And the sassy little sports truck for people living out the Shaggy/Scooby dream—the... Chevy Luv!

1 comment:

  1. "Ford Aspire may fit into this category, but with Ford I'd want to check first as to what its car aspires to."