06 May 2012

People I'd Like to Meet


1.  Barack Obama
He's drop-dead gorgeous and he's the freakin' President.

                                     2.  Cameron Díaz
She's drop-dead gorgeous and she's drop-dead gorgeous.
I particularly like the new cut. Guess you could say I'm a bob man.

3.  Noam Chomsky
Sure, less gorgeous, but intensely interesting because of his seminal (hee hee, I said "seminal") work in generative grammar and political theory.

I actually met Chomsky once already. He was a guest lecturer in my graduate syntax class. I was up all night, so excited about meeting him, and as soon as he started lecturing I could hardly keep myself awake. I would hope to do better this time.

4.  David Sedaris
I want him to be my little gay boyfriend and we'll scream with laughter and dissolve in tears whenever we're together.  "Too funny!"  Oh, no, you're too funny." "No, you!"

I've met David Sedaris, too. I went to a book reading of his in Boston. When it came time for questions, people asked the usual lame ones, e.g., "What's your favorite piece you ever wrote?" So I asked, "Have you ever thought about writing a children's book?" People tutted and gave little wry smiles but David Sedaris really came alive on that one. (That's a lot to say if you've ever seen David Sedaris in person. He looks and acts like someone just beat him up.) Afterwards, he and I chatted... we've since lost track of each other....

5. One of My Own Ancestors
Not from too far back, not a caveman or a peasant in the Middle Ages; say, at the great-great level or nearer. This person has to be—and this is the important part—the one that is most like me. I want to see what they did with it, you know? It would be neat to see what it was like to feel like me in another time. Doesn't that sound interesting? I mean, for you with your ancestor?

My Great-Aunt Hattie Noble
There's another post below
about Aunt Hattie. I think she
may have been a lot like me.


Stop. In the name of love.


  1. I'm finally leaving a comment!May 11, 2012 at 4:39 PM

    Funny. Very funny. Such a shame you and Sedaris lost touch. ;-) Those Q&A's at the end of appearances always make me so uncomfortable. Once Trap stood up at Merrill to ask Ira Glass something... worst feeling of dread. Don't know why. Oh and it's me. :-)

  2. No wonder I can't find you. You're hiding out in here.

    So did Trap ask a lame question? (Er, maybe I should rephrase that.)

    >:-) hey, btw, can you drive me to surgery monday morning? just to it; i have a "caretaker" for afterwards.